I think I'm ready to be released, doctor

Speaking of nutters...I think I'm not one afterall.

I know I have a tendancy to overthink my life, my personality, my relationships, ad infinitum. I do this regularly. Sometimes it's useful. Sometimes it's not. Usually I come to the same conclusions, or I think they are conclusions. I don't really want to 'conclude' anything about a life in progress.

I have a sense of the future now. Optimism you might call it. Like something great is going to happen, but you aren't sure what yet. It's beyond Bangkok (ooh! stay tuned for back-in-bangkok.blogspot.com) . It's a sense that a career out there exists that'd I'd be great at and love. It's a sense maybe my slacking love life might cue in one day. It's a sense that I have a great life waiting to surprise me and be molded by me. I actually feel excited.
I almost -almost- trust it. I almost -almost- see the defeat in the over self-analysis cycle.

I always thought of myself as a grand work in progress. As something to be studied, reflected upon, worked on, fixed. But maybe I'm actually ok. Sane in fact.

Maybe it's almost -almost- like I'm starting to trust my self. or believe.

Or that I"m bored at work and need more coffee.