Intimidation

Why are some things or people intimidating?
I've been told I'm intimidating (its true-stop laughing). There are people I find intimidating - I used to think my supervisor was intimidating, until I returned from my fieldwork and felt more on his level. Any last tinges of intimidation fled when I caught him in the library-coffee in hand-trying to finish a paper last minute. For people I think its easy - we're intimidated when someone brings something to the table that we feel we cannot adaquately offer to the situation/relationship. It boils down to competition and comfort. Both have to go together to feel intimidated. I'm not intimidated by a great jazz singer or a great athlete because I wouldn't be competing with them and their talents are for my benefit. But when competition infringes my comfort level - intimidation strikes. Oh sure there's more, like power and stuff but that goes without saying I think.

But what about things? Right now, the left side of my brain (yes he started it all) is intimidated by my literature review. I'm scared of it. I can admit that. An unwritten chapter looms large in my head right now. I have an outline. I've written an condensed version for my proposal. I've read most of what I'm going to review (just the identity stuff left). I shouldn't be intimidated. I have no reason to be. But I am. Its not the blank page I'm thinking of - I've slayed that demon many a time. Its the finished product (or rather, first draft).
Because of this - procrastination assumes mythic proportions. I've done my taxes instead of writing. I've given TA (stats) help and not minded when called "Stats Jen." I've organized and re-organized my pile of Blue Jays Tickets, not actually making game decisions because then the job would be done. And now I'm blogging about why I'm blogging.

So what is it? I"m not competing with my second chapter. Its my baby, it'll be/do what I say (ouch, this won't actually apply to my babies). I have the power (I think). How can something I have yet to create intimidate me? Ideas? Yes, this is me admitting I dont' have all the answers. Save this blog for future reference.