Categorizing Crazy

Recently I ran across an article that put women into their respective types of crazy. Now for the surprise: I'm not actually against this. Yes its sexist. But face it: many women are crazy for all sorts of reasons - insecurity, low self-esteem, previous hurts, etc etc.

In the interests of equality between the sexes, I suggest the following list of male mania:

1) The Renaissance Man:
Possibly the most annoying man ever. This is the man who claims to know everything, has 2 cents for every conversation, is an artist, an academic, a musician and a world traveller. He's tried everything (that is worth trying, of course) and has an informed opinion on it (that is right, of course). After 30 seconds of conversation you see through the 'trying to be eccentric' outfit and pack of misinformation to realize he's a moron. Potentially making up for other 'deficiencies,' the Renaissance Man plays the only card he has - intelligence, whether he possesses it or not. Women beware, if you actually manage to tolerate a Renaissance Man long enough to date him, his insecurities will show & conservation will soon get boring. But you'll feel smart everytime you talk to him (and not because he's taught you anything).

2) The Nice Guy
Why, but why, is a nice guy crazy, you ask? Well generally a nice guy isn't, but as soon as he starts to believe in the "nice guys finish last myth," they become unstable. They try to accomodate for their niceness, which they now percieve to be a problem. One minute they are trying to show you they have an edge, being more of a bad boy (see other crazies). Then they feel bad about that and overcompensate for it by being - you guessed it - toooo nice. Women want nice, we don't want wishy-washy and second-guessing.

3) The Bad-Boy
Oh the motorcycle, the long hair, the wild side our mothers warned us about. Makes a girl swoon - in her teenage years! Face it, once we're a little older (and potentially wiser and crazier ourselves), we prefer someone who we will not be paying for constantly or who has longer hair than we do. Once the urge for rebellion passes, we like men who shower. Yet the myth remains out of a tragic miscommuniciation. Women want confidence: a man with his own ideas and desires and the where-with-all to express that. Men interpret our attraction to confident men as a sign that we want a bad boy. Trust us: if you mistreat us, we'll leave. If we stay, then you have someone crazier than you on your hands. Best of luck.

4) The Player
Remember the movie the Player? This is the man who knows the rules of the dating game & lives by them. He'll wait 3 days to call you after getting your number or after the last date. He won't consider the situation as exclusive until there is 'a talk.' The advantage: as a woman, we totally know what to expect and if you can play the game better, you can play him. The disadvantage: you don't see the real him forever cause he's too busy pretending to be The Player. Worse - you could find any other kind of Crazy lurking underneath.

Ok this is getting long, so I'll post the rest at a later date. Upon consultation with the hordes of people I"m sure read this.