Why I love life. Even when I don't have one.

A running joke between a few of us (hopefully) graduating grad students goes like this:
"Hey, been rejected (from a PhD position) today?"
"Nope, you?"
"Not today"
"Congratulations!" and there high-fiving & stuff & stuff. Alittle victory in our otherwise bland academic days.

So today the joke goes like this:
"Hey Jen, rejected today?"
"Yup."

And that's the end of that. This is the first time I've ever been rejected from something major in my life. I thought I was doing great stuff here, but I guess not enough...who knows. Honestly, I'm scared. The backup plan is see-through thin. I don't know where I'll live, where to look for a job, how I'll pay the bills. I've never been in this position before. I know I know, I'll be fine. I was sad for awhile. But now I"m ok & I'll tell you why.

I'm sitting at the computer, trying not to show I'm upset. Holding back a little watery-ness. Then my friend Jay comes out of his office with a big smile. I got my Blue Jays Tickets! Yup all 30 of them. They even called me a season ticket holder. They're blue-ish grey, fresh-smelling & lovely. They make a great sound when you run your thumb through them. The set of 10 free tickets show the promise of a great April-May (when I have to use them).

Just when something goes terribly wrong, something else comes along to (at least temporarily) cheer you up. I love life. Hopefully after I graduate I'll have one. Like my Jays tickets, I'm sure something will come along.